Ian Weinberg

1 year ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility ~10 ·

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Who cares?

Who cares?

In this age of multiple human issues which have been so generously aired on the social media platforms, I’m driven to ask who really cares? I would suggest that the ever expanding volume of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the psychiatric handbook of human cognitive and emotional maladies, reflects a species either exposing its multiple flaws or alternatively, losing its resilience and indeed its way and crying out for help.

In actual fact the combined SM platforms have provided the ideal medium and backdrop for illustrating the multiple configurations and permutations of the tortured human psyche. And while there are many decent folk contributing real value in their posts and comments, the SM corridors are for the most part awash with narcissistic rigor in various degrees and guises. Additionally, most are talking and not listening and consequently remain fixed in their limiting beliefs, their comfort zones. In case this doesn’t sufficiently perturb you, let us be reminded also of the malfeasant intent of the dark forces that manipulate through spin and fake news for their own self-interest, often at our expense.

In the face of this tortured species I ask again, who cares? Does anyone care? How do they care? Could they care less? Are they care-free or just riddled with caries? Perhaps they’re just careless?

I have pondered these things and so I share my work in progress. The caring configurations of the human are as convoluted as the species itself. The predominant carer in our midst is the narcissistic driven, secondary gain variant. This variant requires stroking of the ego and the fulfillment of self-interest based conditions. These conditions are best summarized by the five-finger rule: What’s; In; It; For; Me!! It’s about caring for a fee or some other reward, for recognition and/or for a place in Heaven! It is this variant that effectively converted Health Care into the Health Care Industry.

We move on to the next variant, one which is lower on the self-esteem spectrum. Here things can really become a little murky. Caring in this space may reflect guilt that someone else is suffering more than them. Caring also out of fear of retribution because caring is the right thing to do. Additionally there may be an ingrained limiting belief that they were born to serve the needs of others. This may give rise to the chronic care-giver role, one that is fraught with unhappiness and ill health. Finally in this range may arise the schadenfreude variant – the individual that derives personal joy by engaging with the misfortune and wretchedness of others.

At the top end though, we do have genuine carers – all be they somewhat thin on the ground. The genuine carer (GC) is imbibed with an awareness and sensitivity beyond their own self-interest based needs. The essential components required to be a GC are an unsuppressed emotional connection, clarity of perception, the confidence to take ownership and responsibility for own words and actions and the ideal to contribute value – to make something better than it was before engaging with it. In this variant we have the most evolved of our species. These are our innovators, our mentors and our visionary leaders. It is not coincidental that they also experience the best of health and meaningful longevity – for in their empathic support of others they secrete their own life-enhancing juices.

Perhaps there is sense then in toning down those narcissistic and self-interest based distractions and begin again to smell the roses. And among the roses there may well be some being that requires a little help and care. Right there and then a journey may commence to regaining full GC status – the variant which after all is our birthright.

Copyright reserved - Ian Weinberg 2019

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Ian Weinberg

1 year ago #19

I agree with that Harvey. To develop self-awareness based purely on the perceived consequences of the interaction of self with the prevailing social environment may not be universally authentic. To transcend this reactive awareness one would need to embrace clarity across multiple contexts thereby diluting out prevailing limiting beliefs. Self awareness then becomes more authentic as it integrates the greater order of things.

I responded in a private message

Harvey Lloyd

1 year ago #17

I am a well renowned butcher of the kings english. My english teacher of 12th grade gave me the extra points i needed to graduate. Not because he liked me, but rather he new i would be in his class again the next year. He looked into his social mirror and new it would be better if i were not in it. Social reflection is comparative by nature, self reflection is typically redemptive and the two side by side is destructive. When we self reflect we should be reaching beyond the social mirror to grab a reflection that is durable. Durable enough to withstand the social reflections that constantly and consistently change.

Harvey Lloyd I questioned the validity of a person to self-reflect if the internal mirror is cracked? I smiled to read from your comment "is driven buy the need". You remind me of making often the same err by intending to write by as buy. Hopefully, we don't write it as bye.

Harvey Lloyd

1 year ago #15

If i save something or somebody, i will be a good person, Right? The self interest paradigm is driven buy the need to receive social reflection that i am good. I have know understanding of the definition of good except as i i have defined it. Your thoughts strike at the heart of a SM craze of defining good and then selling you what you are missing. Healthcare, poverty, and obscure social groups are all presented in a way that i am failing in some way. But follow the leader and i can be good. I can explain it but can't offer any challenges to the paradigm that would help. Life experience is the only teacher in the acute cases. Unfortunately many will wake up and wonder what happened to the last 40 years of my life.

Ian Weinberg

1 year ago #14

This is indeed the very essence of the matter Ken. As I’ve alluded to in previous narrations I’ve come to accept the powerful influences of nurture and the early life narrative that followed. The billion Aussie dollar question is can one create a genuine carer from a non-carer? The jury’s still out on that one. Perhaps real caring emerges when real pain has personally been experienced? Seasons greetings and best wishes to you and yours. And may the awful fires abate.

Ian Weinberg

1 year ago #13

Thanks Jerry. I guess we’ve entered pay back time. Resilience will surely be tested to the max. Still amazes me how we’re unable to evolve as a species. Seasons greetings to you and yours.

Ken Boddie

1 year ago #12

Your post raises the interesting question, Ian, of why do some care and even go out of their way to help and assist others, often strangers, while others choose to stay in their own self consuming bubble? Perhaps we are all born with the inherent knowledge that we’ll receive a rewarding ‘feel good’ brain DOSE (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins) when we “do unto others”? Depending upon the various peer pressures inflicted upon us, either from the company we keep or the hand we’ve been dealt in society, some of us may subsequently unlearn the DOSE when the hand we reach out is repeatedly bitten off? Does our propensity for caring really depend upon a throw of our society interaction dice, or are the self consumed, and even the schadenfreudes amongst us, born with some distorted chemical imbalance? 🤔

Jerry Fletcher

1 year ago #11

Ian, Wanted to respond with a biblical quote but old age and memory loss make me depend on my own thoughts. Seems to me that your question has been asked throughout the ages but now we find ourselves at the point when Gaia is striking back and the few that care are being swept out to sea or into the gale or dying of thirst or buried under snow with all those that don't give a damn or are too stupid to care about the consequences. Enjoy the holidays. have wee dram of the good stuff and ponder where you and yours might find respite. And so it goes.

Ian Weinberg

1 year ago #10

Indeed. Thanks Jim. Seasons greetings to you and yours.

Jim Murray

1 year ago #9

That was really interesting, Ian. However, I would purport that the people who need to hear it most and understand it the most deeply are the ones who will seldom get past your first paragraph. Thus providing you with very answer you are seeking. In situations like that I revert to the (sliding scale) 80-20 rule. IMHO, you (meaning we) are really talking to only about 10% of anyone out there at any given time. The rest are in some stage of being lost, self-absorbed or otherwise indisposed. And even though they may be sitting there reading what you have written, their minds are far away. Merry Christmas, my friend.

Ian Weinberg

1 year ago #8

Garnished with a wee dram🥃

Pascal Derrien

1 year ago #7

As a famous philosopher on my road would say I don’t need an inspirational quote I just need a coffee 🤔

Ian Weinberg

1 year ago #6

But sometimes the Karma rides over the Dogma 😂. The Donald of course is the archetype - probably intends making Heaven great again!!

Cyndi wilkins

1 year ago #5

Phew! What a breath of fresh air ...Thanks Ian Weinberg...I needed that;-)

Randall Burns

1 year ago #4

great post Ian Weinberg that humor is an important and integral aspect particularly when introspecting; it is imperative that we laugh at ourselves FIRST! Here's where you hit the nail on the head about "caring", as soon as we accept the "who cares?" about ourselves, personally, (and to actually NOT care that no one cares), and most especially accepting our own shortcomings, downfalls, idiosyncrasies, and yes "warts and all" and us NOT caring about it; it allows us the room, the mind space, and the attention span to actually cultivate "care" for those around us; others besides ourselves. As I always say I believe in Karma, caring for others is the first step towards caring for ourselves, (and yes Karma does go both ways) Great job Ian, very thought provoking. (I had to laugh as I read this as I was wondering which configuration to pigeon hole Donald Trump in, LMAO!!!)

Ian Weinberg

1 year ago #3

Much obliged Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Ian Weinberg- with "with an awareness and sensitivity beyond their own self-interest based needs:I share your post because it is worthy.

Ian Weinberg

1 year ago #1

Indeed Kevin. As I've said before - a good laugh with others reminds us that we're all in this together!

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