James the hatter

James makes hats. He’s a hatter. James also sells his hats in an open market. At the market, most people merely pass his stall without much interest. From time to time however people stop to view the hats on display. Some of these people engage James in conversation. They invariably talk about his hats but every now and then someone continues the engagement by talking about other things. And as rapport evolves, so James experiences gratification within the common space with the other. Some of these people buy a hat and some don’t. Some recommend James and his hats to others even if they don't buy themselves.

Exposing himself and his hats to the greater environment, James also needs to be prepared for the encounters with the ‘dark dissenters’ - they who approach James telling him that his hats are crap. And worse … they who accuse him of selling crap and taking up valuable space. In the early days the engagement with the ‘dark dissenters’ used to trouble James. He began to doubt his expertise and the products that he created and his self-esteem faltered. But satisfied customers over the years as well as the odd words of encouragement did well to buffer James from the attacks of the ‘dark dissenters’. His self-confidence and self-esteem grew and with it, an awareness of the real value of his hats.

Who buys James’ hats? There are four types of buyers of the hats: Those that want the hat; those that need a hat; those that want and need the hat; and those that buy a hat because someone else convinced them to buy one. James knows that it is those that need and want the hat, that will value and respect their purchase. Those that needed the purchase may continue to value the purchase after the need dissipates. But those that wanted the purchase without need and those that were coerced into the purchase without want or need will discard the hat upon the scrap heap of redundant acquisitions.

James derives gratification from making the hats, establishing rapport with engaging individuals and from selling to those who want and need his hats. The highest level of gratification is the ’full house’ – establishing rapport with those that need and want his hats.

And so it is in the greater arena of life and in the social media, which be an extension or microcosm of life. We create that which reflects our essence and we put it out there. We expose ourselves to the elements. Indeed we experience personal gratification from the doing and the creating. We also experience gratification from those that engage with us and establish rapport. And every now and then someone who has need and wants what we have created, purchases (if it’s for sale) or partakes in our creation and experiences its value-add to their life situation. For the most part however, there is the passing parade of mild or minimal interest, punctuated episodically by ‘dark dissenters’.

But that’s ok. Only a minority will truly want, need and value what you have created. And you can’t really convince the disinterested into valuing what you have created because you can’t create authentic ‘want’ and ‘need’ for your creations in others when there is no kernel of resonance/appreciation in them for what you have created.

So spew the creative juices and derive gratification from your unique contributions. And from time to time, maximize on the gratification from engaging with someone that truly wants, has need for and truly values, the products of your efforts.

                                                           Copyright reserved - Ian Weinberg 2017