Respect begins at home
It is a frequently used term, highly emotionally charged and yet what does it actually mean? He or she has no self-respect. Here follows my attempt at making sense of it.
To respect is to accept what is, without disparaging judgement nor criticism. Respect begins at home, with you. Unless you can respect yourself, warts and all, you cannot respect others. This is respecting of self or self-respect. Integral to this contention is the fact that we incorporate many of the traits of others in ourselves. But the concept of self-respect includes another component – the acknowledgement of one’s unique value-contributing potential. In this context, value contribution is making something better than it was before you engaged with it. It follows therefore that unless you unconditionally respect all that you authentically are together with the acknowledgement of identifiable value-contributing traits, you have little or no self-respect.
The key requirement for arriving at self-respect is self-awareness. Invariably but not always, self-awareness is a consequence of repeatedly hitting our heads against life’s passing challenges and re-appraising ourselves in the context of our own subjective narrative, in order to be able to transcend similar challenges in the future. Self-awareness is similar to self-respect in this way – as we respect self so we respect others and the environment and similarly, as we become aware of self we become aware of others, the greater environment and our place in that greater space.
I would propose that flowing from self-awareness and self-respect arise evolutionary ethics and values - a non-judgemental (disparaging-free) perception of the greater environment and an intrinsic drive to value contribution.
Much advice, coaching and instruction prevails, in regard to initiating and enhancing business ventures as well as relationships in general. I would contend that it is the ethics and values of the individual and of the business venture, partnership or organization which provide the sustainability and ultimately the success. Ethics and values permeate the entire internal culture of the organization, the branding, the marketing as well as the engagement with clients.
And so I would suggest that long before general coaching and instruction is implemented to enhance wellness, personal performance or the business fundamentals, we need to ensure that intrinsic values and ethics based on self-respect exist within the individual (and within the organization as a whole).
One does not require prolonged coaching nor psychotherapy to learn and integrate values and ethics. All that is required is to:
1. Refrain from entering into a mind state of habitual disparaging judgementalism of others. Perceive, reason, evaluate and clarify. But replace judgementalism with a sensitivity to the fact that each individual is an end product of a unique history over which there was very little control, in absolute terms. We are not expected to embrace the most repugnant. Clarity regarding their behavior, sans hostile and destructive emotions on our part, is sufficient.
2. Commit to contributing value to self, others and to the environment.
3. Subscribe to honesty and accountability especially insofar as failed value contribution is concerned.
Loyalty to values and ethics based on self-respect takes courage, more so during challenging times. But the long term return on this investment is priceless – for you and for the greater environment.
Commentary
Those that have need to habitually rant, whinge and whine achieve very little value for themselves and for the extended environment. They merely perpetuate similar behavior in sympathy or in reaction and in terms of my proposed definition, reflect compromised self-respect.
Those that have need to habitually confront, judge, prescribe or seek to discredit, reflect a need to defend their subjective comfort zones. It is essentially a fear-based behavior and again, is somewhat compromised on self-respect. For further clarity on this archetype refer to https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ian-weinberg/the-problem-with-gus
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Comments
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #26
The privilege is entirely mine; thank you for hearing me.
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #25
Thanks for the kind words Lisa Vanderburg
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #24
My husband can change channels by his deep-brain stimulation....annoying really.....:)
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #23
Well, I've certainly been told I need to have my head examined Lisa Vanderburg.
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #22
haha...are you trying to get your magnificent head examined? :)
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #21
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #20
Well, you nailed it Ian Weinberg - a delightful and commendable buzz to read! I was particularly hit by your statement: 'But the concept of self-respect includes another component – the acknowledgement of one’s unique value-contributing potential. In this context, value contribution is making something better than it was before you engaged with it.' I freely admit I have fairly low self-respect, but that was an ingrained nurturing process that's simply hard to shake. I'm going to read the other comments before I continue: END 1
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #19
Somehow I think that is very telling of the respect I have for you;-)
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #18
Flattered Cyndi wilkins that I've entered your dream space! Thanks for that.
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #17
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #16
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #15
Based on the valid points that you raised John Rylance , I've added a new concept to the first paragraph.
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #14
Thanks Harvey Lloyd. Much appreciated.
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #13
I felt and fully understand your struggle with the topic. Self awareness was a long and arduous journey for myself. Conversations with associates we deal with in the humanities, yielded no better understanding. I was able to collect the PHD level responses but its true meaning and results were left misunderstood with very little pressing. It wasn't until i considered myself as part of whole that i began to understand the concept of self awareness within the context of a greater humanity. This journey rippled through my fatherhood, marriage and my role as a son to wonderful parents. Amazingly my mother new all along, as she greeted my conversation with "welcome home." The pursuit of self awareness is a journey whereby each must take their own. We can demonstrate outcomes, fundamentals and other contextual aspects of the journey, but we can't walk it for someone. Unfortunately the pain on either side of self awareness is the same. Having walked this journey i now see others who suffer through life as if the answers reside outside of self. Only to beaten down consistently and constantly. Only a few of my encounters have led folks to take the journey, most can not let go of the narrative they have been given. I haven't given up on offering this level of understanding even though i still am a student. Sometimes i offer only one degree bumps that over time i hope folks can find the beginning of their own journey. Your post was such a bump for someone, somewhere.
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #12
Thanks for that Harvey Lloyd This was an exceptionally difficult article to write. I'm still not sure that I've nailed it properly. I had toyed for days about the essence of self-respect and what it's implications are in regard to the individual and the greater collective.
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #11
perhaps what wasn't made clear in this post John is that with the emphasis on self-respect we mirror many of the traits in others, traits that we may disparimgly judge. Hence the contention that only when we're able to accept ourselves, warts and all, without judgement , are we more likely to respect others with those traits.
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #10
John Rylance
6 years ago #9
Ken Boddie
6 years ago #8
Pascal Derrien
6 years ago #7
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #6
In a world of mutual respect we could realize our fullest collective potential
Mohammed Abdul Jawad
6 years ago #5
Javier Cámara-Rica 🐝🇪🇸
6 years ago #4
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #3
Thanks for sharing Debasish Majumder
Debasish Majumder
6 years ago #2
Ian Weinberg
6 years ago #1