Gert Scholtz

3 years ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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BarkRant

BarkRant

This is me, your Dog. 

Let's leave the woofs, howls and barks. Let's talk - just you and me. I don’t understand your overly complicated language but let me speak in your parlance. It’s time to clear the air, it's time to pull the leash straight.

Your language rings in my ears, it irritates me – stop talking to me so much. You confuse communication. I can read you by your posture, your movement, and your eyes. I can sense, even smell your mood. Pat me and stroke me - yes. Rub me with your foot - yes. Feed me leftover meat - yes. But really, stop the noise. I understand you better than you think. No need to call and shout and explain and whine and say “good doggie” over and over. Be quiet. I know you.

Take me for a walk - every day - more. The streets are ok, the park is best. Long before we were friends, canines roamed around every day, looking, sniffing, hunting, scouting, exploring. I need to do this – it’s in my blood. So please, please take me out more. Walk me to explore and unwind. Otherwise I will keep on whimpering every afternoon. 

Will you stop dancing with me! Sometimes the urge grabs you when your old songs play on the radio. You take my front paws, lift me on my hind legs and prance around. We are dogs! We walk, we run, we hunt, we dig, we pounce, we storm and we bite. We never do those silly dances. We don't hop around on a beat. Leave me out.

I WILL run to the fence and bark at the dog next door. Ten times a day. I lay claim to my territory and he needs to understand it and I WILL remind him to stay off. Don’t you see – I’m protecting our patch? Predators lurk around every day and they MUST know we will always put up a fight. So I warn them. Ten times a day.

The cat! The damn cat! Always getting preferential seating on the couch and specially prepared food and a high perched cat house. Now, that I don’t mind that so much. What I cannot stand is his aloofness. We dogs show ourselves to each other. We don’t hide our feelings. But where does this stupid cat come from!? And why did you have to give him a dog’s name? One day I will look at you and have a grin on my face and I will lick my mouth and the cat will be gone.

I am always with you. At your side. We are a tribe - you and I and the family. We each have our place. When you shout at me I growl at my sister so we all know our rung. If one steps out of line on a hunt or ranks himself wrongly, harmony is disturbed and misunderstandings happen. When one of you is missing my world is different. We always stick together. I protect the tribe with my life. That’s why I'm here. That’s what I do. 

Now leave me alone with my bone.

Call me when we go for a walk. 

Good boy!



(Image Credit: Greg Joens)

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Comments

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

3 years ago #41

Once I was chased by a dachshund when I was just a kid (minding my own business) and it chased me to the edge of the terrace till his owner came running to save me from tripping and falling over, just-in-time. That incident was totally traumatizing, though. 🤦

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

3 years ago #40

Lovely buzz, Gert Scholtz. So beautifully written. I once heard that dogs can see auras of humans, just like babies and little kids can see. This makes them really good at learning intentions and understanding the other person on an entirely different level, altogether. This explains how. They don't really need our words when they can see our auras around us. :-)

Louise Smith

3 years ago #39

#41
Believe me it was not - I was mortified !

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #38

#36
Failing obedience school twice - it must be the owner who went her own way:) Thanks for all the comments Louise.

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #37

#29
Renoy George Glad to have brought back some memories Renoy - keep on dancing!

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #36

#27
Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador Thank you Franci - also for sharing the post. And Happy Birthday tomorrow!

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #35

#25
Paul Walters I guess we all have something of our best friends in us - thanks for dropping in Paul.

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #34

#26
Bill Stankiewicz, \ud83d\udc1d Brand Ambassador The ongoing tussles between cats and dogs are always entertaining! I can watch ours for hours. Thanks for the comments Bill.

Louise Smith

3 years ago #33

#20
Gert Scholtz Scapa my now 8yo Dachshund failed Class 1 of Dog Obedience School NOT once but twice The trainers always looked at me when he wasn't conforming to the class instructions I was not their fav When I got Lila my now 7yo Dachshund I couldn't deal with any further humiliation Fortunately or unfortunately she learnt quickly from Scapa ! When she wanted to ! And every time there was a food reward. Both will behave perfectly every time if there is a food reward. Otherwise you couldn't possibly guess how well behaved they both are.

Louise Smith

3 years ago #32

#15
Yes Phil Friedman Both my dogs have 200 words + vocabs How could they not ? I was once an elementary school teacher who taught reading to 5yo + with & without hearing !

Louise Smith

3 years ago #31

#14
Cat Stevens ?

Louise Smith

3 years ago #30

#10
Thank you Ian. As long as the dog runs faster than the car, the karma and dogma will be fine!

Louise Smith

3 years ago #29

#25
It's illegal to take dogs on public transport in BrisVegas Q AUS I often wonder how people with low income get their pets to the Vet (if they can afford the Vet bill) If they have no friends & family & a taxi or uber is not in the budget Is there a Pet Ambulance service ? (if you don't have Pet Insurance ?)

Louise Smith

3 years ago #28

#27
My dog's are not Man's best Friend ! (LOL)

Louise Smith

3 years ago #27

I must admit to it Gert Scholtz I also composed a special song for each dog & sing it as appropriate ! (For each from 8 weeks old)

Rough. Rough....

Love this, Gert! Dogs have rights, too. Man's best friend speaks up.

Great post! Ivan relate to this having a dog 🐶 and 🐈 cat. I did inherit the cat and he picks on my old dog that is 17 years old. Cat loves to trip the dog when it walks by by pulling on a rear leg. I have to be a referee to break them up.... We do live our pets. 👍👍👍🐶🐈🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝😎😊

Paul Walters

3 years ago #23

Gert Scholtz greeting from Milan wher its cool to take s pooch on the Metro ! Your canine self emerges ...good to see

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #22

Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier Thanks - good of you to visit from Husky country. Glad you enjoyed it.

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #21

#14
Pascal Derrien Well then thank you Kat! Oh, and it's the dog that's the clever one, not me at all:)

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #20

#15
Phil Friedman That's very interesting Phil, I never knew dogs could pick up words like that. But then, your dogs have an owner who's vocabulary is so wide and vast, they are bound to pick up a few words along the way:) Great of you to read and comment - thank you.

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #19

#16
Jerry Fletcher No, definitely not a dog whisperer - more of a dog shouter at times - but I am mending my ways fast. Thanks for the friendly comment Jerry!

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #18

#17
Gloria Ochoa Thank you Gloria - yep, owner me is still in training, but I'm being trained by a good dog.

Randall Burns

3 years ago #17

LMAO!!! Gert Scholtz That was great!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

3 years ago #16

Haha. Very good, Gert!

Gloria (Glo) Ochoa

3 years ago #15

Dog owner/trainer assistant/lover LOVE this! Our slogan is: There is no bad dog, just untrained owners! xoxo

Jerry Fletcher

3 years ago #14

Gert, Wonderfully wrought. I'm cat guy but it is nice to see someone trying to get humans to understand the dog's view. Are you perchance a dog whisperer?

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #13

Good perspective, Gert Scholtz, although I beg to differ about talking. Oh, I agree about constantly repeating "good boy", but not about ordinary conversation. My experience is that if you carry on normal conversations (albeit one-sided) with your dog(s) as you move through ordinary circumstance, the "vocabulary" they acquire is astounding. True, its context dependent. But I had a Jack Russell terrier who had a verifiable vocabulary of more than 200 words, and later a Yorkshire terrier who easily understood 150 or more as long as spoken in context. One does, I think, need to keep in mind that such conversation has to be about things that matter to the dog. For example, it's easy to get a dog to understand you when you say, bags of groceries in your hands, "Hey, pup, push open the door." But forget trying to get any dog to close a door -- it just doesn't make sense to them. Good piece. Cheers!

Pascal Derrien

3 years ago #12

Genius and very original even though I am a Kat guy :-)

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #11

#6
Ken Boddie I am a Beatles fan and a Beagle fan. Also a David Gray fan and a Greyhound fan. Then a Pitbull fan and a Pitbull fan :)

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #10

#7
Bill King Thank you for sharing that Bill. Indeed we are not so different - and for that very reason dogs truly are man's best friend.

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #9

#3
Jim Murray Many thanks for reading Jim - it is great to have you stopping by with a comment.

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #8

#1
Ian Weinberg Dankie Ian. Solank die hond vinnger hardloop as die kar sal die karma en dogma fine wees!

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #7

#2
Debasish Majumder Thank you for sharing Debasish - which you so kindly do - much appreciated.

Gert Scholtz

3 years ago #6

#2
Debasish Majumder Thank you for sharing Debasish - which you so kindly often do.

Ken Boddie

3 years ago #5

Hey, Mr Dog, you sound pretty knowledgable. You must be 'aware' wolf ! So, hey, what's all the griping about? Life can't be so 'ruff' can it ? I wonder if you're a Beatles fan like many of the Aussie dogs here? Their favourite is Dingo Starr. 🤣

Joel Anderson

3 years ago #4

Well done.

Jim Murray

3 years ago #3

Lovely. I once saw a meme of a forlorn looking little dog in the back seat of a car and the caption read ... "But what if I'm not a good boy?" Do owners should get that.

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #2

lovely buzz Gert Scholtz! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz.

Ian Weinberg

3 years ago #1

Great piece Gert Scholtz Need to ensure that the karma doesn't ride over the dogma!

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